Woes

There is a difference in mirrors. There are fat mirrors and there are skinny mirrors. What I don't understand is why all women's clothing stores don't contain the skinny mirror variety. What I REALLY don't understand is why maternity clothing stores have the fattest of mirrors. And to make matters worse, the change room at this particular maternity clothing store I was in last night had a curtain cover that was about 9 feet high. The problem with that height is that it makes you feel about 4 feet tall standing in front of it, looking into the fat mirror. So now I don't feel like a glowing blossoming pregnant women...no, I feel like a short fat dwarf. That swallowed a beach ball. My self esteem has been suffering lately...but now at least I have new clothes to help me feel better. And after I'm done writing this I'll probably go eat a pickle and drink a glass of milk which always puts me in a better mood.

*sigh*

Grocery Store Adventure

I had a little bit of an adventure today while waiting in line to pay for my groceries. It went like this:

I was standing in line waiting to have my groceries scanned and I noticed the lady in front of me in line. She was one of those women who looked entirely perfectly put together, with not a hair out of place. She had extremely expensive shoes on, was wearing a beautiful outfit (not to dressy...perfect for going out to get groceries), a huge diamond ring, and to finish it all off, had a VERY cute little boy in her cart. All of these things I had to take note of quickly, for as I was standing there, I was hit with another one of these fun 'low blood pressure' episodes. This was the worst one yet. I started to feel the beginnings of the passing out hints...you know...dizziness, sudden perspiration, blackness in the corners of your vision...

So trying to look equally as put together as the lady in front of me, I tried as nonchalontly as I could to just leeean forward on my cart and...look like I'm patiently waiting. Now what's going on at the till is that another till has a new cashier on it so our cashier has left to help her and we are not moving. So all hopes of paying and dashing back to the car are gone. The leaning is not helping. Blackness is closing in. I send up a quick prayer: "PLEASE God...not now. oh please". The lady looks back at me and gives me a funny look. I probably look like a train wreck. I feel like one. Usually what I do if I'm going to pass out is I put my head between my knees. I look around...nope, no option to try that. Not even to bend over because there's some weird guy behind me and I'm certainly not going to bend over in front of him! So...I pretend there is something extremely interesting at the bottom of my purse and lean over as far as I possible can into the depths of my large bag, WILLING away this episode. The perspiration begins to fade. The cashier comes back. Perfect lady ahead of me finishes up, and I force myself upwards and onwards, manage to bag my own groceries (thanks a lot, Extra Foods...you make my life miserable now that I have to bag my own stuff) and get the hey out of there. Crisis averted.

Phew.

Making decisions

This week was an exciting week...we put our name in for a midwife! So far I have been completely unimpressed with my doctor, and have been very disappointed by the lack of care and concern I've received thus far. My first prenatal visit was so frustrating and I literally had to go back to get one of the nurses to find my docter after being walked out on because I hadn't been given the chance to ask ANY questions about my pregnancy. This is my first child and I have not appreciated being treated like just another patient at a walkin clinic.

So anyway, I've heard from a few friends now about their positive experiences with a midwife. I've also found out that midwife services have recently become covered under health care so it now costs nothing, whereas it used to cost thousands. Our first meeting is next week, and after the first informational meeting you get scheduled in for 45 min visits every month. This is in contrast to the 5 min monthly visits I've been having with my doctor so far. I'm still planning on having the baby at the hospital, but instead of doctors around, there will be two midwives...one for me, one for baby. So far I don't know a lot more details, but I'm sure I'll be more informed after next week's vist so I'll post more then.

We'll be 20 weeks on Tuesday and I can't believe we're half way there already. I haven't felt a TON of movement, but I've been feeling more little jabs throughout the days, and every now and then I'll feel some consistent movement. It puts such a huge smile on my face to feel that little person moving inside of me.

That picture is what things are looking like right now. Tummy is popping and baby is growing!

Photo courtesy of http://www.babycenter.ca/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment/20weeks/