I took Tyler to his first chiropractor appointment yesterday to get his Tortocollis further assessed, and hopefully begin the road to fixing this thing. I thought things were going well as he was assessed as the chiropractor kept telling me things like "oh, this looks good", and "it's not in his lower back, that's awesome" and "this is actually really straight!" So I was feeling quite optimistic until the end of the appointment where she finished by saying "Tyler's case is actually quite severe..."
*Insert profanities here*
I guess we haven't done anything else halfway...why start now? We are now going to have to go back to her TWICE a week as well as physio and home stretching. Does anyone else find it baffling that while Tyler has spent endless amounts of time in the company of doctors, no one noticed this? Medical profession dropping the ball, round two.
I asked my friend a question yesterday...I know that God knit Tyler together in the womb, but what the heck was he doing? Maybe I'm contradicting my last post when I said I wasn't angry at God. I think I am a little bit. I'd just like to know why all of this is going on. Like I said before, I know that this condition isn't life threatening, but it doesn't make me any less frustrated or confused. I'm not sure why, but I'm having so much more of a hard time with this than I did with the heart surgery.
I have so many other things running through my head but I don't know how to say it all. I just don't understand any of this.
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"I'm not sure why, but I'm having so much more of a hard time with this than I did with the heart surgery."
ReplyDeleteWe all have a breaking point, and all can handle so many stressors at once. No doubt, you've had your coping abilities tested to the max with the whirlwind of Tyler's heart condition/surgery. I can only imagine that the frustration of everything else is magnified as you think of adding more healthcare related stuff to your plate.
Praying for you, Josie. I am sure this is not how you imagined motherhood to look, but I trust that God knew who Tyler's mother would be and that HE was confident in your ability to love Tyler well through whatever obstacles come up.
I hope you let yourself fall apart every now and then... it really isn't fair that you've had so much to handle. I'd be super frustrated with it if I were you, too.
My thoughts were similar to Sabrina's in that on top of all you have already dealt with this is just the thing that is too much, which is so understandable with all that you 3 have already been through. I think its normal to have questions and to feel frustration.
ReplyDeleteI also firmly believe that God choose you to be Tyler's mother and there is purpose in that. We will be praying for you guys.
i think you're allowed to be a little angry - or even alot angry (not a word, i know). but i agree with Kelsie-Lynn. God KNEW what was going to be...and He chose YOU!
ReplyDeletei have had this feeling alot in the past few years...wondering how God could "get it wrong" when He created me. i've questioned Him alot.
will keep praying for you. love you tons.
p.s. who's your chiropractor?