Choices

Just so you know, this is a fairly open and transparent post, and is written mostly for myself. Consider yourself warned.

Having a baby does funny things to both your body and your mind. My satisfaction with my physical appearance has become based on entirely different things post baby than it was before. Getting right into the honesty part of this post, I have always prided myself on having a flat stomach. Now that I've had a baby, I pride myself on having a stomach that doesn't hang down to my knees. I used to pride myself on having control over what I ate. I now am proud of myself if I only have ONE scoop of ice cream with rolo chocolate sauce on it. You get what I'm saying.
Now, I am actually quite proud of myself for the weight I've been able to bring myself back to after Tyler. I fit a size of jeans I've never fit before and I generally feel good. However, now that I'm done nursing and the 500 calorie loss every day is gone (just need to pause here for a moment to grieve that significant loss...)

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and ALSO because we booked a trip to mexico in a few months, it's time to get back on that 'watch what I eat and what I do' regime.

But here's my qustion: Do I have to choose between loving pizza and loving myself?

I've decided not. I want to live my life in a way that I can enjoy everything about it. I want to sit down and feel completely guilt free while I eat homemade pizza (made by my culinarily inspired husband, CAN you believe it). I dont' want to look back on life and miss out on the bliss of enjoying good food and say "well, at least I'm skinny". Yahoo. Skinny and HUNGRY.

That being said, I also want to take care of myself. I want to excersize three times a week. I want to take advantage of my personal trainer sister in law. I want to be in shape and feel great. I want to live a life of moderation. I want to be like my mom and have my kids come home at the end of the day knowing that they are going to be provided healthy meals every night, and also indulge in huge fresh cinnamon buns every now and then. I want to go for walks on every single nice day, and probably eat an ice cream cone while walking.

This is no New Years resolution, but rather a lifestyle promise. I will love both pizza and myself. I will bring my children up to the best of my ability to also love themselves and appreciate the goodness of life. I will learn to make asaparagus taste good, and I will learn to bake a killer apple pie.

Yep, that sounds good.