Pardon the memories

One year ago today I woke up from having maybe 3 hours of sleep all night, uncurled my stiff self from the cot on the hospital floor, and comforted my sad hungry boy all covered in wires because he wasn't able to nurse before his surgery. I handed my son over to surgical hands promising to be capable to fix what I could not. I watched them carry him into the first of two surgeries to mend his heart. I sat in a fog in the waiting room for 2 hours with my husband and mother in law. I was the first one in the recovery room to see Tyler still unconscious and quiet. I held his hand as he woke up and prayed over him constantly. I sat in his hospital room in tears of confusion waiting to hear if we would be air lifted to Edmonton. I heard the doctors say "successful procedure" and tell me we could go home for a few days before the open heart surgery in Edmonton. I prayed desperate prayers alongside my husband that we would survive this. One year ago today I placed Tyler in God's hands promising to be capable of fixing what I could not.