I took Tyler to the park yesterday...and almost had a heart attack. I'm quite sure anyone watching me would have thought I had 6 strokes and was stung by a bee and stubbed my toe hard...I gave all the proper facial reactions I would assume comes with each. Ok, I seriously have taken Tyler to the park before. Lots of times! But yesterday was a gorgeous day and he's older and can play on his own and the park was PACKED. With kids. Who do things like push my kid down the slide when he's not ready and throw wood chips in his face and kick him in the head when he's under them and they go across the jungle gym. And also shout things like "I'm going to KILL YOU" (not AT my son, but close to him), and "oh my GAWD", and other things I really don't want my two year old to pick up.
And all this time I made myself stand to the side. If Tyler wasn't crying, I wasn't going to interfere. Hence all the "I'm dying in many ways" faces.
I know. I KNOW that I'm a protective mom. Mitch met up with us halfway through and he breezed through the rest of the park experience completely unaffected and unconcerned. But still. Experiences like these make me think that I'm going to have to get really gung ho about home schooling because I will never survive public school where I can't control what my child hears, learns, how he's treated, or how he treats others. I WANT AN OVERREACTIVE BUBBLE!
So I'm not really serious (like...I am, but I'm not going to home school) so how to deal with outside influences? How do I cope with my need to control nature? Prayer, prayer, prayer.
Mitch and I have prayed for Tyler every night since before he was born and will continue to do that with him and our other children. We will cover them with prayer, entrusting them to Jesus. I will continue to make my stroke faces, because though it's hard, I will make myself stand back while he faces the big world out there. I will acknowledge the importance of being a light to the darkness, which we cannot do in a bubble.
I don't know where I heard this quote, but somewhere I read that having children is like making your heart walk around unprotected outside of your body. So true.
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I hear you and I am making the stroke faces with you. Good for you for standing on the side. I am not good at that, but I am trying. Sometimes being a mom is SO hard!
ReplyDeleteStroke faces here too! :) It's even hard for me to keep my mouth shut if kids are hurting other kids, even if it's just normal playground taunting (rite of passage, right?)
ReplyDeleteI like the quote about making your heart walk around outside of your chest. Mmhmmm. And I'm afraid it's only going to get worse as they get older and more independent. Good thing God's walking with them.