vacation needed

The last few weeks have not been fun.  Well...maybe 'fun' isn't the right word, but not sure how else to phrase it. 

When Logan was 3 weeks old, we had a routine visit with the midwife.  During the visit she noticed that his breathing rate was really high...up around the 80 mark.  Babies should breath between 40 and 60 times per minute, so this was not good.  She listening to him for a long time and when the rate didn't drop, she told me to wait until he was asleep, check again, and if it hadn't changed take him to emergency. 

Um...de ja vu.  Tyler was 3 weeks when we were encouraged to do the exact same thing.

Needless to say, I felt pretty panicky.  I waited until he was alseep, counted his breathing again and again, and came up with around 80 each time.  Called my mom to watch Tyler, called Mitch, and off to emergency we went.  They were great in peds, and as soon as they heard that we already had a child with heart problems they sent Logan through the big tests - hooking him up to oxygen, monitoring heart, chest x-ray, etc.  It felt like a night mare.  This was not something I ever wanted to repeat.  A few hours in, they determined that he had fluid in his lungs (probably from birth) and this could be causing the fast breathing.  They said it would likely clear up, no need to be worried, but to come back to emergency tomorrow for followup.  After going back the next day we heard the same thing - could be an erratic breather, could be from fluid, actually not quite sure, but go home, it'll clear up, and he'll be fine.

Now at this same time we had also noticed something else that we were concerned about.  Logan was born with a sacral dimple at the base of his spine.  This can be nothing, and it can also be a sign of spina bifida.  We were scheduled in for an ultrasound to check into it. 

A week after our trip to emerg, Logan's breathing rate still hadn't gone down.  After all our issues with Tyler and assuming at the beginning that nothing was actually wrong, I really didn't want to take that chance with Logan.  We were referred to a pediatrician and went to see her the next day.  She took a look at Logan and suggested that we go for a cardio appointment, and possibly another chest xray. 

We were able to get into cardio the next day (again, likely because of Tyler's history).  Praise the Lord, it came back clear.  The next day we went back to the hospital for the ultrasound.  The pediatrician had also noticed some other suspicious signs pointing towards spina bifida so I did not go into the appointment feeling confident.  The appointment itself did nothing to ease my worry as they spoke in hushed tones, couldn't tell me anything about what they saw, and then proceeded to make us wait 9 days for the results.  Apparently the results got lost somewhere and had to be re-requested. 

Those nine days wore terrible.  We looked at Logan with no idea if he was healthy.  We didn't feel like we had the energy to handle another sick child. 

This past friday we got the phone call that he's all clear.  Praise the Lord.  I have spent the last 3 weeks in a pretty constant state of worry.  It seems that his breathing rate has gone down, though we still have nothing confirmed as to what was really going on.  His dimple and other possible signs are all harmless.  Deep breath.

This week has been BLAZING hot here and without AC, we've been forced out of our house and over to Mitch's parent's place where there is a wonderful backyard, kids' pool, and AC.  It has been a really good time of relaxing, regrouping, and rest.  So thankful for madatory stillness.  It's been needed for all of us.  Mitch's mom has been cooking for us, giving me a hand with the boys, and just being good support. 

So today I reflect again on what I'm thankful for.  Beautiful HEALTHY boys, great family, a rock of a husband who walks beside me, wonderful hot weather, and a gracious God who will not give us more than we can stand.