Progress

So yesterday I had phone calls saying things like this:

"Have you ordered your windows already? yes? Well do you think it's too late to change them? Well because I just realized they wont' fit."

and

"So we're going to have to change the height of your basement...which means your framing package you've already had quoted is going to be wrong now."

and

"Well we didn't realize the angle of your lot was so severe so the way the house has to sit now, your backyard is only going to be 20 feet deep."

...those are only portions of several conversations I had yesterday. It was...a bad day. However! I did not freak out. (Except the part where I maybe raised my voice a little bit for a little while at my drafts person). I did not cry (except when Tyler's teeth somehow rammed into my lip and for some reason caused me to shed a few tears for a very long time). I did not tell myself that our life is over and this house will never get built and I will have to declare bankruptcy (...well okay except for when I did exactly that).

So what I'm saying is...at least I'm self aware?

It looks like everything got worked out yesterday and it's also looking like our drafts person (who is also a contractor) is willing to do some work on our house for free to help us offset the costs of all the mistakes they have made. Silver lining to a very stormy cloud.

On Faithfulness

Our life is fullllll. In the past 3 weeks we have done the following:
Gone to Mexico
Listed our house for sale
Made the decision for Mitch to change jobs.

And that's just the last few weeks, not to mention house building excitement, job at camp ramping up for summer, and our always busy boy.

Mitch changing jobs is both exciting and uncertain. He has been sought out by an electrical company who has heard great things about his work ethic and is starting his long journey of becoming a journeyman electrician. This means a pay cut, an increase in hours, and it also means that Mitch starts at the bottom of the occupational food chain which is never easy. It will be extremely rewarding in the long run, but has required a leap of faith on our end to step out and accept this opportunity.

I was talking to a friend of ours about this the other day and also mentioned that we're feeling pretty stressed about selling our house for the amount of money we'll need to survive the costs of building a new house, and then taking a pay cut on top of that. Things are going to be pretty stretched and I'm nervous. Our friend told me this: I need to stop questioning God's faithfulness. We are able to do everything are doing now because of His faithfulness. He has brought us this far and would not have done so to let us fall now. Don't hear any prosperity gospel crap here...I'm not saying that faithfulness = financial providence. I'm saying that we need to remember that God is in control and whether our plans come to fruition or they don't, God has put us here for a reason and will not abandon us.

So we'll just keep walking forward, praying for guidance, giving praises of thanks for opportunities, and requesting wisdom with every step.

What it looks like

So we have gone to pick up Mitch's parents a few times from their trips to Mexico. I remember seeing the entire flight of people coming through the arrival gates looking tanned, sun bleached, and in unbelievably good moods for just having come off of a 6+ hour flight. I remember wondering what magical place they had just been to, which seas they had dipped their feet into, and what the beaches smelled like. I stared at them in jealousy and wondered what it would feel like to go to a place like that.

Well...

it feels like this:


and this:




and this:




We spent an amazing 7 days in the Mayan Riviera which I will never forget. The beaches were divine, the sun shone bright every day, and the fresh salsa did not disappoint.

Now back to reality...

when...

You know you've been doing a lot of house budgeting in Excel when...

I was trying to decide which necklaces to buy from a website I like and the thought crossed my mind "I should make a list in Excel. I bet that would help".

Stressed but blessed

"Jos, I can't talk you down from the ledge every single day of this process" is what my husband said to me the other night as I was stressing out of my mind over yet more building issues. Point taken. I aim to be cool, calm, and collected until the house is done. Everyone who knows me knows that this is completely and entirely realistic.

ahem.

We are in a whirlwind of activity right now. We are getting our house ready for sale, which means keeping it clean at all times. Everyone who knows me knows that this is completely and entirely realistic. I'm trying so hard not to stress about the sale, knowing that we just have to give this one over to God. We have also been given a pretty huge opportunity recently that we have to decide if we're going to take. I can't say details right now, but it would be a pretty major life change. Life feels so up in the air right now that I keep glancing warily upwards in case it all falls on top of me. We are moving forward hanging onto phrases like "I hope", "probably", and "maybe this will work out". At least they're all positive, right?

Oh, life. Thanks for never being boring.

Pardon the memories

One year ago today I woke up from having maybe 3 hours of sleep all night, uncurled my stiff self from the cot on the hospital floor, and comforted my sad hungry boy all covered in wires because he wasn't able to nurse before his surgery. I handed my son over to surgical hands promising to be capable to fix what I could not. I watched them carry him into the first of two surgeries to mend his heart. I sat in a fog in the waiting room for 2 hours with my husband and mother in law. I was the first one in the recovery room to see Tyler still unconscious and quiet. I held his hand as he woke up and prayed over him constantly. I sat in his hospital room in tears of confusion waiting to hear if we would be air lifted to Edmonton. I heard the doctors say "successful procedure" and tell me we could go home for a few days before the open heart surgery in Edmonton. I prayed desperate prayers alongside my husband that we would survive this. One year ago today I placed Tyler in God's hands promising to be capable of fixing what I could not.

Followup

Before Tyler was born, I remember writing on my blog that I was getting frustrated with people telling me that I may be excited about having a baby, but to just wait...it'll be hard. It won't be as much fun as I think it will be.

Now that I have been a mom for a whole year, which I'd say pretty much makes me an expert (in ALL things, actually. I'm so ready to say "because I am your mother and I said so), I have realized this:
I have found joy in pretty close to every single part of parenthood thus far. I have had the poop explosions, the up all nights because of sickness, the temper tantrums, the bumps and bruises, and even the heart surgery. So basically what I'm saying is I've seen it all and done it all and can handle everything. (Oh calm down, I'm just kidding).

What I'm actually saying is that amidst everything I expected to be (and can be) hard, I have found such a profound joy. Profound. Like, wells up from my toes and bursts through the top of my head, joy. Knowing that I was made for this. I've known for years that while I have many good life goals, my one to be a mom was my most dearest desire. The feeling of having one's passion and desires fulfilled is...shall I say it again? Yep. Profound. JOY! Had to get that in one more time.

Alright, enough sap. Off to start my day.