Two

I have always known I wanted kids. We got married young (I was almost 20) and right from the start I pestered Mitch for a baby. I knew that out of the many good things in life, being a mother was going to be at the top of the list.

When I thought about being a mom I thought about the baby stage. I thought about rocking them to sleep, waking up throughout the night, wonderful first smiles, endless cuddles, all those good things. I truthfully didn't think much farther than that. I gave little to no thought to having a two year old.

The baby stage with Tyler was wonderful. He was such a good baby and early parenting was everything I thought it would be.

And then he turned two.

How did I not know this was coming? How was I not prepared?

I. love. having a two year old. Love it. I can't express how much fun we have on a daily basis. We sing and laugh and yell out silly things and hop and read books and then read more books and talk and jump on the bed. Tyler is so smart he blows my mind. I know...every parent is sure their kid is a genius, so I'm dutifully jumping on that wagon, but really. He's amazing. He is a joy to parent, and I promise I'm not just spouting rainbows. He gets out of bed a million times an evening (or used to...we may have turned a corner) refuses to eat certain things, hates napping, and generally is a normal two year old. He is not perfect, nor is he always easy. But...he's just so much fun. I love my son and the goofy sweetheart he's become. I am so so privileged to be his mama.

Never for granted

We had a second ultrasound today...they couldn't get a good view of baby's heart during the first one and to be safe we asked for a second one. Now that we have been introduced to the scary reality that not all infants are born in perfect condition, we wanted to be fully sure that baby #2 had a healthy heart.

Praise the Lord, everything is normal. We really didn't suspect anything different, but it feels good to just know for sure. It feels like when we were first pregnant with Tyler we had the dreamy idea that childbearing would be a perfect experience. Our kid would be cute, sleep well, be healthy, go to college, etc etc. You know that bad things happen, but assume it's to "other people". When we found out Tyler needed surgery it really brought us into a scary place of reality - the knowledge that just because you've already had one hard thing happen doesn't mean you're immune. I feel like we're prepared in such a different way for this child. We have learned how to care for, parent, and love a kid. We've also learned to realize that (yup, gonna say it) shit happens and you move forward. I know that this next baby will have their own gifts and challenges and we'll have to readjust everything we think we know, but it's nice to feel a little more prepared.

Does this all make sense? Maybe not...just processing.

And our kid is CUTE! We could see it's little face and at one point it yawned...oh my heart. Saw the kicks and punches... it's so fun to see the movements that are attached to what I feel on the inside. And how cool is it that I can tell you already that this one has Tyler's nose and mouth...which tells me that it's going to be so. darn. cute. Technology is amazing. The thrill of seeing my baby is fresh and wonderful.

Never Again

...never again will I mock someone for not knowing how to use a computer fully. I promise. We had our laptop die about a month ago and after MUCH deliberation and discussion, we decided to make a larger financial commitment to technology and buy a mac. We are sick of our laptops (yes, there have been two) die on us, or the battery fry or the cord light on fire (true story) or the screen just stop working...etc. So. We bought an iMac. And I have no. idea. how to use it.

It took me five minutes and the usage of google to figure out how to copy and paste something. And I know how to use computers!! Minimizing a screen is stressful to me now because it takes forever for me to find it again. I think I have figured out how to use the mouse now, though I somehow enlarged an entire website to like 200%. That was fun! Downloads are nerve wracking because who KNOWS where things are being downloaded to...

So anyway. Exciting, but interesting.

And total side note...why have I not heard of the Civil Wars until now?? I can't handle how much I love them. They just...ah. I can't explain it. Go listen to "My Father's Father". And then listen to it again.

Ready...set...

Yeah I don't think we've ever had a month like this! Two weeks ago, Mitch and I came down with the flu...basically within 10 minutes of each other. Thankfully it was just after Tyler went to bed so we were able to battle the worst of it without a curious energetic toddler to mind while praying for death. The next day was almost as bad as the active flu part as we couldn't move...but Tyler sure could. Pretty thankful for an awesome kid who was willing to just let us lay on the floor next to him while he played. Mitch is going to school right now for his first year apprenticeship and had to miss one day of school, but it wasn't a huge deal.

So. Recovery. I was fine. Three days after the flu hit, Mitch woke up with a sore throat. By that evening he was completely unable to eat or speak and after a much dreaded visit to the walk-in, it was determined that he had strep. Spent the weekend on the couch revisiting his prayers for death, and again confusing an almost two year old why his daddy couldn't talk to him. "Hi dad! Daddy! Hello! Daddy?" 10 pounds lost from combination of flu and strep. Day two of school missed.

I should mention that you fail the course if you miss more than 4.

Later that week, Tyler got the flu. Sad days insued with caring for a sick toddler.

The following week we receieved a very sad phone call. My grandpa passed away. Within two days of the phone call we packed ourselves up and headed on the 8 hour drive to be with family and to say goodbye to Grandpa. It was a bittersweet trip full of family and visiting, tears and memories. Tyler got to meet and play with cousins from far away, and we were able to reconnect with family we haven't seen in years. The night before the funeral, 4 or 5 members of our extended family got the flu, including my grandma. By God's grace, everyone was standing (mostly) and able to attend the funeral and graveside. It was a wonderful service.
The service ended and Tyler's meltdown began. Barely with enough time to say goodbye to everyone we packed up our screaming tired worn out toddler and drove 8 hours back home.

Day three of school missed.

And now we recover. Got back monday night around 1am, headed to work Tuesday morning, babysitting today, praise team practice tomorrow, and leading on sunday. Oh mercy, I'm tired.

Wandering

I don't really have a topic, but I feel like writing. So...internet rambling GO.

Ultrasound was today! Mitch couldn't come, but this maybe was for the best because my conscience was in peak form and I knew it would be terribly dishonest to ask for the gender without him being there. The tech was amazing and took pictures of the face for me so I could show Mitch. I got to see the full face and it blew me away how much detail I could see. I feel like I just got to meet my child. Technology is such a miracle.

I am helping to host a jewelry party at my place on Friday which means it will be cleaned...which means I will do my best to take pictures FINALLY. There is such a prideful place in me that won't allow myself to take pictures until all my crap is cleaned up, which is why we've been in the house for over a month and still no pictures. Sigh. One day I'll learn the art of continual cleaning. Until then, I will just have to cope with crushed mushy cheerios on my socks and wondering if it's actually foggy out or if Tyler just smashed food all over my windows again.

Ok here's a question for you! I know that when I read other people's blogs (which is quite often) I sometimes wait for them to talk about certain topics or answer questions I have about them without actually really wanting to ask the question. Anything of interest I can answer on here? Oh, I'm well aware that sounds a little egotistical to even wonder if people have things they want to know about me, but still. I have statcounter, so I know people are stopping by here from time to time...any topics you're waiting for me to talk about? Anyone feel like telling me who you are so I know who the stats are that show up? :) If you want to remain anonymous that's ok too, but I'm just sayin.

Music

Just a little list. The bands I am loving lately:

The Head and the Heart. Oh I'm loving this band. They remind me a bit of Dan Mangan, but...fuller. And slightly more mellow. Listen to the song Rivers and Roads.

Florence and the Machine. They've been around for awhile, but I've just started to love them in the last few weeks after Mitch bought me their first CD for Christmas. Tyler likes them too :)

The Wailin' Jennys. And now for something completely different...this is a super mellow group who sing somewhat celtic sounding haunting melodies. Gorgeous.

Coldplay. Not just lately, always. Mylo Xyleto just nailed it.

Bruce Cockburn. His album Speechless is just...so good.

For Starters

Here we go, 2012...we're hitting the ground running!
The Christmas break was so. good. Mitch and I both had a week off and I think Tyler thought he had gone straight to heaven. If he was ever with me and away from Mitch in the house he would get a glint in his eye and holler at the top of his lungs "DADDY!!". It was always sure to be met with a responding "TYYLER!" from another room which brought such wonderful smiles to his face. Having Mitch home was just such a blessing for both of us. It was relaxing (well...for me anyway, as I have a wonderful husband who got up with Tyler most mornings and let me sleep as long as I wanted), full of time with family, and just good. So good.

It's good to have times of rejuvenation like this before jumping back into life as you start feeling refreshed. Mitch went back to school this week which feels so strange to even type. He's going for his first of four years as he's working towards his journeyman ticket in electrical. It's a perfect fit for him (the job anyway) though the schooling will be a challenge. Not the learning part, which will be a breeze, but rather the driving...he has to drive an hour and a half each way just to get to school. It's the closest place that offer the schooling he needs, which in my opionion is preposterous. However, his driving is a sacrifice he's making so that he doesn't have to live away from us during the week. Thankfully his hours at home in the evening wont' be much different than they were when he was working so I'm happy. And so is a certain little boy who anxiously awaits his return each evening.

God's timing has been so good to us throughout this. Mitch has to be on E.I during his schooling, which means we have two full months of his income being cut in half...right at the beginning of our new payments on our house. Thankfully, due to when our mortgage is due to begin, we dont' have to start making payments on our house until March which is when Mitch goes back to work. Praise the Lord.

We're facing 2012 with much optimism and excitement. Mitch is moving into becoming a second year (which just sounds better than first year haha). Tyler continues to grow and change and continue to be such a delight. I love watching my little boy grow in personality. He is SO sweet. He is just like his dad...noticing everything. I bought a new jacket this weekend and Tyler saw me wearing it today and came over, pointed, and proclaimed "oh! nice!". Thanks buddy :)
And of course, we look forward to meeting our new little one. I feel ever so slight movement from day to day and just can't wait to bring another Kornelson along for this wonderful life journey we're on.