Pieces of me.

I think I expected to have a rotton child.

Seriously...I think I did. One of the biggest questions that is asked, contemplated, mulled over, and discussed while pregnant is who the baby will look like. You think about traits that you and your spouse posess which could turn out to be dominant, traits which you SURE hope your child doesn't get, and hope that "at least they get my eyes/teeth/hair/whatever". On the personality side, Mitch and I joked for a long time that we were going to have an unbelievably headstrong, bull headed child because, well, that's what we both are. I didn't think much about personality beyond this, but I'm finding myself surprised again and again by Tyler's personality now that he is here and showing himself to us.

He is one happy kid. He is happy at least 92% of his awake time, if not more...I kid you not. However I'm not telling you this to brag, but to reflect. I keep expecting Tyler to, say, frown at strangers. Think about it - he is my descendant. Shouldn't he therefore check others out judgementally first? Shouldn't he be a bit more cautious and a bit less trusting? Nope. He bares his toothless smile to anyone who will give him the time of day, no matter who they are or what they look like. Another example: I will have finished changing his diaper, making him royally mad for some reason or another, but when I pick him up he shows no grudge but rather puts his head on my shoulder and starts to coo. Okay if that was me and I was mad, there would be no way I'd be over it that fast. And I'll probably bring up how I was made angry again in a few weeks.

I'm not really just talking about being in awe of the sweetness of babies (though I am in awe of that, no question) but more about how I think subconsiously the phrase "I hope you have a child just like you" (which was never uttered to me, though it probably could have been) scared me a little. I keep waiting for my bad traits to show up in my child and am surprised again and again with his sweet little disposition. Instead of seeing my temper, I see my eyes. Instead of experiencing my mistrust of others, I watch Tyler reach both hands out to love. It's amazing how much I feel both convicted and thankful when I watch my son. What have I done to deserve this?