I was in a terrible, very bad, no good mood the other night. It was one of those moods where I didn't know why, but everything just made me ripping mad. Took me all evening to sort out my mood, but I think I have it figured out...
That was the day I realized that my mat leave is half over. I know, I still have almost 6 wonderful months left, but it also means that 6 months have gone by. 6 MONTHS! I don't know where the time has gone. I also realized a shift in my mentality. At the beginning of my time at home with Tyler I surprised myself by how much I missed work. I craved the outside responsibility and obligations. Not to say that I didn't enjoy and feel fulfilled at home, but rather just wanted a piece from both worlds. Now I can't imagine going back to work. Tyler blesses me daily and to think about missing out on even one of those smiles or giggles just about kills me. We're in a place right now where I'm quite sure it won't be financially possible for me to be a stay at home mom, so I know that working (whatever that will look like) will be a reality for awhile. I am going to have to figure out how to just enjoy each day without thinking "this is one less day".
I'd love to hear from you if you've gone back to work after babies...how difficult was it? What were some things that made it easier? Any advice?
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No advice, but I know how you feel. When I think about the possibility of having to go back to work,a part of me dies...
ReplyDeleteFor me, I spent the first five years at home with Levi, but I missed adult conversation. Really truly missed it, so I was excited when God allowed me to go back, starting part time. I felt rejuvinated and looked forward to seeing my child after spending a day with other adults. Yes, my heart breaks at the fact that I can't do everything with my children, but I know that God has placed me where he has for MY benefit. I think I am a better mom because I have had a chance to get out and focus on me and my goals for a little bit. My kids still love me, and I know that this is all a really good thing.
ReplyDeleteThere, that's my little rant. Mommy-guilt is something I deal with often, but my husband and I work together for the sake of the boys. I'm happy to be working outside of the house.
Hope this gives you some insight on the side of going back to work is a good thing.
p.s. I'm now working full-time and I can see God's blessing in it.