My mom recently posted a list of 50 on her blog...just a random list. I will assume this is age related and will post my list of 26.
Mitch reading books to Tyler before bed
Botched soup
Winter boots
Intense love for my iPhone
Popcorn
Having a nice camera to take nice pictures with
Starbucks
Reconnecting with old friends
Christmas decorations
Church membership
Online shopping
Hearing stories about Jesus from my son
Memorizing (or trying to) the sermon on the mount
Laundry
Long arduous potty training
More laundry
Happy husband
Judgement verses grace
New Girl
The need for new furniture
Ticket to Ride
Routines
Teaching Tyler to love indie music
My wonderful beautiful blessings of boys
Dreams of teaching piano again
The anticipation of Costco
Monday, November 5, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
It's ok?
Learning lots about forgiveness from my two year old this week.
It started when he broke a vase. He, after being told not to, threw a kids chair at a large ceramic vase I had sitting beside our tv. It shattered as it hit the floor, and I did my best not to over react. I asked Tyler to say sorry to me for breaking the vase because it had happened as a result of him not listening. He dutifully said that he was sorry to me, and I responded with "it's ok". Tyler heard this and repeated "yeah. It's ok that I broke your vase mommy."
Hm. Not what I meant, but exactly what those words would mean to a two year old.
After this event and a few others where Tyler responded very similarly, Mitch and I decided that a better response to an apology is the obvious one - I forgive you. Have you tried actually saying this after an apology? Especially after somewhat glib ones? Saying "I forgive you" means that you should mean and feel forgiveness. I find it's also a hard phrase to hear. Hearing someone respond with forgiveness means you've actually done something that warranted that forgiveness. Saying "it's ok" feels like a much easier thing both to say and hear. It's more of a brush off.
So that's been our challenge this week. I'm trying to take it to heart in my marriage and other relationships as well. Pondering what it means both to forgive, and also to ask for forgiveness. Not to brush off what is hurtful but to deal with it in my heart and with others and be able to move on.
If only my Tyler knew the things he teaches me.
It started when he broke a vase. He, after being told not to, threw a kids chair at a large ceramic vase I had sitting beside our tv. It shattered as it hit the floor, and I did my best not to over react. I asked Tyler to say sorry to me for breaking the vase because it had happened as a result of him not listening. He dutifully said that he was sorry to me, and I responded with "it's ok". Tyler heard this and repeated "yeah. It's ok that I broke your vase mommy."
Hm. Not what I meant, but exactly what those words would mean to a two year old.
After this event and a few others where Tyler responded very similarly, Mitch and I decided that a better response to an apology is the obvious one - I forgive you. Have you tried actually saying this after an apology? Especially after somewhat glib ones? Saying "I forgive you" means that you should mean and feel forgiveness. I find it's also a hard phrase to hear. Hearing someone respond with forgiveness means you've actually done something that warranted that forgiveness. Saying "it's ok" feels like a much easier thing both to say and hear. It's more of a brush off.
So that's been our challenge this week. I'm trying to take it to heart in my marriage and other relationships as well. Pondering what it means both to forgive, and also to ask for forgiveness. Not to brush off what is hurtful but to deal with it in my heart and with others and be able to move on.
If only my Tyler knew the things he teaches me.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Him
These pictures says more words than I ever could. When you marry, the first thing you think of (I'm assuming more than just myself) is how they will love you forever and what life will look like with the two of you side by side. And then you have kids and realize that the spouse you chose is not just going to be in your life as a spouse, but also as a parent to your child. And I could not have been given a greater gift...a man who loves me, and is the most wonderful WONDERFUL father. Love him.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Healthy
Came away from church fired up today. We've attended church very sporadically this summer, I'm ashamed to say. Between weekend trips and young kids and full schedules, we haven't been there as much as we should have. I for many year expressed frustration over young families who don't "commit" to church and only show up for half the sundays out of a month. I hang my head and admit misguided judgement as I also raise my hand to now being one of those families.
That being said, this sunday we did attend, and I'm so thankful. A churchwide challenge was given to start looking inwards at our own lives. Grow. Change. Seek Jesus. Simple, yet difficult. I'm ready.
I expressed this need to Mitch a few weeks back - how do we teach Jesus to our kids without living it? I mean, we don't actively NOT live for Jesus, but we certainly are complacent. Easy. Comfortable. Not in the place I want to be.
So, just as I put it out there that I was going to start running (which I did), I'm also putting it publicly that it's time for a head shake. I'm on board with this church vision. I'm excited and feeling challenged. I'm ready to start leading worship again. I'm feeling renewed in the direction we're taking in devotions. I want my relationship with my husband and children to reflect Christ's love.
Yep. Let's do it.
That being said, this sunday we did attend, and I'm so thankful. A churchwide challenge was given to start looking inwards at our own lives. Grow. Change. Seek Jesus. Simple, yet difficult. I'm ready.
I expressed this need to Mitch a few weeks back - how do we teach Jesus to our kids without living it? I mean, we don't actively NOT live for Jesus, but we certainly are complacent. Easy. Comfortable. Not in the place I want to be.
So, just as I put it out there that I was going to start running (which I did), I'm also putting it publicly that it's time for a head shake. I'm on board with this church vision. I'm excited and feeling challenged. I'm ready to start leading worship again. I'm feeling renewed in the direction we're taking in devotions. I want my relationship with my husband and children to reflect Christ's love.
Yep. Let's do it.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Life with, life without
Processing life and death today. Got the call that my grandma (mom's mom) passed away this morning and while it was imminent and expected, the official call is never easy.
We spent this weekend away from home at a family gathering of my first dad's family. My dad was killed in a plane crash when I was three, and spending time with his family when possible is very important to me. They are all scattered far and wide so gatherings don't happen easily or often. This was the first time many of them had met our boys. I know that especially for my grandparents, it's significant to see the extension of Dan's blood. Grandma is constantly on the lookout for the matching brown eyes or the chubby thighs and cheeks.
Today I'm feeling like I'm grieving life spent with, and life spent without. I grieve my Grandma's passing because of the wonderful life I have had with her in it. I remember things like how she always had strawberries picked and ready at the table when I'd come to visit as she knew they were my favorite. I remember the food she cooked so artfully, and the jokes she cracked often. I remember her garden, her laugh, and her smell. I remember the way she held my boys and just laughed from sheer joy.
I grieve my dad today because of my life spent without him. Seeing his family love my boys creates such an ache for him to have known them. Seeing my uncles who bear such resemblance to dad but are not him. Hearing camping trip stories about him, but not being able to hear his voice or his side of the story. Hearing the pride in grandpa's voice as he looked at our new vehicle and said "your daddy bought a mazda too. He would have liked this car". Watching through the window at Mitch and my uncle deep in conversation, wishing Mitch could have had dad's approval too.
Ah. Today is a grieving day. The Lord gives and He takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
We spent this weekend away from home at a family gathering of my first dad's family. My dad was killed in a plane crash when I was three, and spending time with his family when possible is very important to me. They are all scattered far and wide so gatherings don't happen easily or often. This was the first time many of them had met our boys. I know that especially for my grandparents, it's significant to see the extension of Dan's blood. Grandma is constantly on the lookout for the matching brown eyes or the chubby thighs and cheeks.
Today I'm feeling like I'm grieving life spent with, and life spent without. I grieve my Grandma's passing because of the wonderful life I have had with her in it. I remember things like how she always had strawberries picked and ready at the table when I'd come to visit as she knew they were my favorite. I remember the food she cooked so artfully, and the jokes she cracked often. I remember her garden, her laugh, and her smell. I remember the way she held my boys and just laughed from sheer joy.
I grieve my dad today because of my life spent without him. Seeing his family love my boys creates such an ache for him to have known them. Seeing my uncles who bear such resemblance to dad but are not him. Hearing camping trip stories about him, but not being able to hear his voice or his side of the story. Hearing the pride in grandpa's voice as he looked at our new vehicle and said "your daddy bought a mazda too. He would have liked this car". Watching through the window at Mitch and my uncle deep in conversation, wishing Mitch could have had dad's approval too.
Ah. Today is a grieving day. The Lord gives and He takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Right and Wrong
Ok can I vent for a second?
Is every single food you can buy in the grocery store dangerous? Organic is expensive, but apparently all other fruit is toxic or genetically modified. Apparently vegetable oil is bad for you because of how processed it is, but I know from personal experience that olive oil tastes terrible in cupcakes.
When I take Tyler outside, should I clothe him from head to toe? Because the sun causes cancer, but apparently so does sunscreen. Deoderant is being linked to breast cancer, but I don't have time or desire to slather my armpits with a paste of baking soda, and I really would prefer to not stink. Someone recently told me that all meat causes cancer and our bodies are not really meant to process meat anyway so we shouldn't put it into our systems. On and on it goes.
So seriously. How on earth do I feel good about feeding my family and caring for my children when every single decision I make seems to be proven detrimental somehow? I do not want to be a vegan. I'm sure it's the right decision for some people, but I neither desire to do it nor do I feel capable. Also, we enjoy meat. And cooked stuff.
I'm really not asking for arguments here. Don't tell me I'm a terrible mother because the milk I buy might have hormones in it or the chicken we eat didn't grow up free range. I just want to know how on earth we're supposed to survive when apparently every single thing in the grocery store is out to kill us. I believe in feeding my family fresh food as much as possible. I stay away from processed when I can because I would prefer to bake my own pizza dough or things like that. I buy into the marketing ploy that is "smart KD" because no preservatives or false colours sounds good to me and I like kraft dinner. But really. I sometimes feel like all this information is too much. There is no possible way to decide the "right" thing to do. You can't tell me that cutting out everything in your diet except fruit and veggies grown in your own garden is legitimately healthy. Or maybe you can...but don't. I won't believe you. Also, I live in a place where I would starve all winter unless we develop a greenhouse in our basement. ARGH.
So anyway. Don't soap box me. I just needed to vent.
Is every single food you can buy in the grocery store dangerous? Organic is expensive, but apparently all other fruit is toxic or genetically modified. Apparently vegetable oil is bad for you because of how processed it is, but I know from personal experience that olive oil tastes terrible in cupcakes.
When I take Tyler outside, should I clothe him from head to toe? Because the sun causes cancer, but apparently so does sunscreen. Deoderant is being linked to breast cancer, but I don't have time or desire to slather my armpits with a paste of baking soda, and I really would prefer to not stink. Someone recently told me that all meat causes cancer and our bodies are not really meant to process meat anyway so we shouldn't put it into our systems. On and on it goes.
So seriously. How on earth do I feel good about feeding my family and caring for my children when every single decision I make seems to be proven detrimental somehow? I do not want to be a vegan. I'm sure it's the right decision for some people, but I neither desire to do it nor do I feel capable. Also, we enjoy meat. And cooked stuff.
I'm really not asking for arguments here. Don't tell me I'm a terrible mother because the milk I buy might have hormones in it or the chicken we eat didn't grow up free range. I just want to know how on earth we're supposed to survive when apparently every single thing in the grocery store is out to kill us. I believe in feeding my family fresh food as much as possible. I stay away from processed when I can because I would prefer to bake my own pizza dough or things like that. I buy into the marketing ploy that is "smart KD" because no preservatives or false colours sounds good to me and I like kraft dinner. But really. I sometimes feel like all this information is too much. There is no possible way to decide the "right" thing to do. You can't tell me that cutting out everything in your diet except fruit and veggies grown in your own garden is legitimately healthy. Or maybe you can...but don't. I won't believe you. Also, I live in a place where I would starve all winter unless we develop a greenhouse in our basement. ARGH.
So anyway. Don't soap box me. I just needed to vent.
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