I wasn't a perfect mom today. We spent the entire morning in front of the tv watching olympics instead of cleaning up. Tyler asked for a snack right after not finishing his breakfast and I gave it to him. The closest we got to playing outside was venturing into the garage for a bit of trike riding, which lasted 5 min. I let Tyler watch Curious George in the afternoon even though I had already let him far surpass his normal screen time in the morning. I didn't give Tyler his normal scheduled quiet time in his room, opting instead to let him play with a friend. I didn't do a single load of laundry.
Not a single timeout was given today.
Seems like we both needed to break the rules a bit today...
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
On the road again
I am going to start running again tonight. There. I posted it online which apparently stays out there forever so I'd BETTER be truthful.
The last time I ran was the official 5k run for the children's hospital (the whole reason I started running in the first place). I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so dizzy while running that week. It was only a few days after the race that I found out we were pregnant! 1st trimester kind of kicked my butt and running got demoted in priority in my life...ended up on the list next to wearing skinny jeans or staying awake past 9pm - not gonna happen.
I was actually really surprised how much I missed running while pregnant. Some days I felt like I was literally craving it. I'm now 6 weeks and 2 days postpartum and I keep hearing that 6 weeks is a good timeframe to wait before indulging in physical activity. I'll start slow and tell myself I'm doing it for the good of my body so I don't feel discouraged when I end up sucking wind and walking after the first 25 seconds. Not sure where this running thing will take me this time as I don't have a distance goal or a race deadline. Well I guess there's always the little baby weight issue that I could use as motivation... :)
So anyway. Tonight's the night!
The last time I ran was the official 5k run for the children's hospital (the whole reason I started running in the first place). I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so dizzy while running that week. It was only a few days after the race that I found out we were pregnant! 1st trimester kind of kicked my butt and running got demoted in priority in my life...ended up on the list next to wearing skinny jeans or staying awake past 9pm - not gonna happen.
I was actually really surprised how much I missed running while pregnant. Some days I felt like I was literally craving it. I'm now 6 weeks and 2 days postpartum and I keep hearing that 6 weeks is a good timeframe to wait before indulging in physical activity. I'll start slow and tell myself I'm doing it for the good of my body so I don't feel discouraged when I end up sucking wind and walking after the first 25 seconds. Not sure where this running thing will take me this time as I don't have a distance goal or a race deadline. Well I guess there's always the little baby weight issue that I could use as motivation... :)
So anyway. Tonight's the night!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
vacation needed
The last few weeks have not been fun. Well...maybe 'fun' isn't the right word, but not sure how else to phrase it.
When Logan was 3 weeks old, we had a routine visit with the midwife. During the visit she noticed that his breathing rate was really high...up around the 80 mark. Babies should breath between 40 and 60 times per minute, so this was not good. She listening to him for a long time and when the rate didn't drop, she told me to wait until he was asleep, check again, and if it hadn't changed take him to emergency.
Um...de ja vu. Tyler was 3 weeks when we were encouraged to do the exact same thing.
Needless to say, I felt pretty panicky. I waited until he was alseep, counted his breathing again and again, and came up with around 80 each time. Called my mom to watch Tyler, called Mitch, and off to emergency we went. They were great in peds, and as soon as they heard that we already had a child with heart problems they sent Logan through the big tests - hooking him up to oxygen, monitoring heart, chest x-ray, etc. It felt like a night mare. This was not something I ever wanted to repeat. A few hours in, they determined that he had fluid in his lungs (probably from birth) and this could be causing the fast breathing. They said it would likely clear up, no need to be worried, but to come back to emergency tomorrow for followup. After going back the next day we heard the same thing - could be an erratic breather, could be from fluid, actually not quite sure, but go home, it'll clear up, and he'll be fine.
Now at this same time we had also noticed something else that we were concerned about. Logan was born with a sacral dimple at the base of his spine. This can be nothing, and it can also be a sign of spina bifida. We were scheduled in for an ultrasound to check into it.
A week after our trip to emerg, Logan's breathing rate still hadn't gone down. After all our issues with Tyler and assuming at the beginning that nothing was actually wrong, I really didn't want to take that chance with Logan. We were referred to a pediatrician and went to see her the next day. She took a look at Logan and suggested that we go for a cardio appointment, and possibly another chest xray.
We were able to get into cardio the next day (again, likely because of Tyler's history). Praise the Lord, it came back clear. The next day we went back to the hospital for the ultrasound. The pediatrician had also noticed some other suspicious signs pointing towards spina bifida so I did not go into the appointment feeling confident. The appointment itself did nothing to ease my worry as they spoke in hushed tones, couldn't tell me anything about what they saw, and then proceeded to make us wait 9 days for the results. Apparently the results got lost somewhere and had to be re-requested.
Those nine days wore terrible. We looked at Logan with no idea if he was healthy. We didn't feel like we had the energy to handle another sick child.
This past friday we got the phone call that he's all clear. Praise the Lord. I have spent the last 3 weeks in a pretty constant state of worry. It seems that his breathing rate has gone down, though we still have nothing confirmed as to what was really going on. His dimple and other possible signs are all harmless. Deep breath.
This week has been BLAZING hot here and without AC, we've been forced out of our house and over to Mitch's parent's place where there is a wonderful backyard, kids' pool, and AC. It has been a really good time of relaxing, regrouping, and rest. So thankful for madatory stillness. It's been needed for all of us. Mitch's mom has been cooking for us, giving me a hand with the boys, and just being good support.
So today I reflect again on what I'm thankful for. Beautiful HEALTHY boys, great family, a rock of a husband who walks beside me, wonderful hot weather, and a gracious God who will not give us more than we can stand.
When Logan was 3 weeks old, we had a routine visit with the midwife. During the visit she noticed that his breathing rate was really high...up around the 80 mark. Babies should breath between 40 and 60 times per minute, so this was not good. She listening to him for a long time and when the rate didn't drop, she told me to wait until he was asleep, check again, and if it hadn't changed take him to emergency.
Um...de ja vu. Tyler was 3 weeks when we were encouraged to do the exact same thing.
Needless to say, I felt pretty panicky. I waited until he was alseep, counted his breathing again and again, and came up with around 80 each time. Called my mom to watch Tyler, called Mitch, and off to emergency we went. They were great in peds, and as soon as they heard that we already had a child with heart problems they sent Logan through the big tests - hooking him up to oxygen, monitoring heart, chest x-ray, etc. It felt like a night mare. This was not something I ever wanted to repeat. A few hours in, they determined that he had fluid in his lungs (probably from birth) and this could be causing the fast breathing. They said it would likely clear up, no need to be worried, but to come back to emergency tomorrow for followup. After going back the next day we heard the same thing - could be an erratic breather, could be from fluid, actually not quite sure, but go home, it'll clear up, and he'll be fine.
Now at this same time we had also noticed something else that we were concerned about. Logan was born with a sacral dimple at the base of his spine. This can be nothing, and it can also be a sign of spina bifida. We were scheduled in for an ultrasound to check into it.
A week after our trip to emerg, Logan's breathing rate still hadn't gone down. After all our issues with Tyler and assuming at the beginning that nothing was actually wrong, I really didn't want to take that chance with Logan. We were referred to a pediatrician and went to see her the next day. She took a look at Logan and suggested that we go for a cardio appointment, and possibly another chest xray.
We were able to get into cardio the next day (again, likely because of Tyler's history). Praise the Lord, it came back clear. The next day we went back to the hospital for the ultrasound. The pediatrician had also noticed some other suspicious signs pointing towards spina bifida so I did not go into the appointment feeling confident. The appointment itself did nothing to ease my worry as they spoke in hushed tones, couldn't tell me anything about what they saw, and then proceeded to make us wait 9 days for the results. Apparently the results got lost somewhere and had to be re-requested.
Those nine days wore terrible. We looked at Logan with no idea if he was healthy. We didn't feel like we had the energy to handle another sick child.
This past friday we got the phone call that he's all clear. Praise the Lord. I have spent the last 3 weeks in a pretty constant state of worry. It seems that his breathing rate has gone down, though we still have nothing confirmed as to what was really going on. His dimple and other possible signs are all harmless. Deep breath.
This week has been BLAZING hot here and without AC, we've been forced out of our house and over to Mitch's parent's place where there is a wonderful backyard, kids' pool, and AC. It has been a really good time of relaxing, regrouping, and rest. So thankful for madatory stillness. It's been needed for all of us. Mitch's mom has been cooking for us, giving me a hand with the boys, and just being good support.
So today I reflect again on what I'm thankful for. Beautiful HEALTHY boys, great family, a rock of a husband who walks beside me, wonderful hot weather, and a gracious God who will not give us more than we can stand.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Forget me nots
-The way Tyler's voice sounded so sad when he said goodnight to Logan and then mentioned to me after: "He didn't say goodnight back to me!"
-The moments when I expect that the quiet in the other room means mischief, and when I peek I find Tyler quietly reading a book.
-The way Tyler leaned over Logan yesterday to move his hand to hold the toy he had just placed on his chest to play with
-Every morning around 6am when Logan will not settle unless he's brought into bed with us for the last hour of sleep.
-The way Mitch always turns towards him when I bring Logan into bed to just...watch.
-"Heyyyyy Logan Logan Logan" as Tyler runs through the house looking for him
-Morning breakfast conversations
-Seeing flashes of Tyler in Logan's eyes at the same time as distinct differences
-The pure pleasure I feel when I refer to them as "my boys".
-Hearing Tyler talk to himself and say "mommy loves me sooooo much!"
-The moments when I expect that the quiet in the other room means mischief, and when I peek I find Tyler quietly reading a book.
-The way Tyler leaned over Logan yesterday to move his hand to hold the toy he had just placed on his chest to play with
-Every morning around 6am when Logan will not settle unless he's brought into bed with us for the last hour of sleep.
-The way Mitch always turns towards him when I bring Logan into bed to just...watch.
-"Heyyyyy Logan Logan Logan" as Tyler runs through the house looking for him
-Morning breakfast conversations
-Seeing flashes of Tyler in Logan's eyes at the same time as distinct differences
-The pure pleasure I feel when I refer to them as "my boys".
-Hearing Tyler talk to himself and say "mommy loves me sooooo much!"
Friday, June 15, 2012
On having two
So it's Friday of my first week home alone. Mitch was able to take one week off work which was such a blessing. Sunday night of last week I bawled my eyes out (exactly the same scenario as when Tyler was born...) but it's been a really good week on my own. I'm loving having two. Especially two boys! It's not even an indifferent "I'm glad we have Logan and he just happens to be a boy"...it's a LOVE of being able to call them "the boys" and hearing Tyler talk about being and having a brother, and hearing my husband refer to his sons. And watching Logan's squishy face as Tyler vigorously hugs him, and shares his most special and beloved item in the whole world with him - his blanket. Oh blessings.
I love having a newborn and toddler at the same time. It means I get to chat about everything under the sun with my big guy as we make breakfast together and then pick up my littlest boy and cuddle him as I build blocks with the other hand. I get the still of the early morning with quiet and curious big blue eyes staring at me after feeding, and then 20 minutes later I get a gleeful good morning and excitement exclaimed "mommy's awake!!" as I climb out of bed. I get to watch the tenderness of my husband as he lays on the floor next to Logan to make eye contact, and then see the energy he loves to spend as he indulges in Tyler's requests (again and again) "Daddy, hide!" or "Daddy catch me!" or "Daddy play 'you can't get past me!'".
There have definitely been a few growing pains as our family stretches to include one more member, as a two year old used to being the centre of many people's universe is adjusting to sharing the spotlight, as his parents get used to much less sleep, as I'm still not really able to leave the house with two to do much more than drive, but these things are normal. Every day is better than the last and I woke up this morning feeling so good. 5 hours of sleep straight between a night feed may have helped, but that's beside the point.
I don't feel like I'm in a hurry to rush anything these days. The house will get cleaned when I feel up to it. I will master the art of keeping house, cleaning, cooking, and mothering two eventually. For now I'm just going to concentrate on mothering two. On playing with blocks, colouring, feeding, adoring, reading books, and making sure I remember to eat lunch. Before 2:00. And loving, loving, loving.
I do. I just love my life.
I love having a newborn and toddler at the same time. It means I get to chat about everything under the sun with my big guy as we make breakfast together and then pick up my littlest boy and cuddle him as I build blocks with the other hand. I get the still of the early morning with quiet and curious big blue eyes staring at me after feeding, and then 20 minutes later I get a gleeful good morning and excitement exclaimed "mommy's awake!!" as I climb out of bed. I get to watch the tenderness of my husband as he lays on the floor next to Logan to make eye contact, and then see the energy he loves to spend as he indulges in Tyler's requests (again and again) "Daddy, hide!" or "Daddy catch me!" or "Daddy play 'you can't get past me!'".
There have definitely been a few growing pains as our family stretches to include one more member, as a two year old used to being the centre of many people's universe is adjusting to sharing the spotlight, as his parents get used to much less sleep, as I'm still not really able to leave the house with two to do much more than drive, but these things are normal. Every day is better than the last and I woke up this morning feeling so good. 5 hours of sleep straight between a night feed may have helped, but that's beside the point.
I don't feel like I'm in a hurry to rush anything these days. The house will get cleaned when I feel up to it. I will master the art of keeping house, cleaning, cooking, and mothering two eventually. For now I'm just going to concentrate on mothering two. On playing with blocks, colouring, feeding, adoring, reading books, and making sure I remember to eat lunch. Before 2:00. And loving, loving, loving.
I do. I just love my life.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
New Member
Labour was WAY different than with Tyler. This time around I had woken up around 6am hearing Mitch getting ready for work. I felt my first contraction after I had woken up but assumed it was false labour as I had the exact same thing happen two days ago. However when the second contraction came 7 minutes later, I went to tell Mitch that though I wasn't sure, it was possible that our baby was on it's way. We decided he should go to work anyway as he works close and I was unsure if this was anything. However, within a very short period my contractions were suddenly 5 minutes apart and I realized that things were moving quickly! My mom rushed over to watch Tyler, Mitch came home from work, we called our midwife, and headed to the hospital. By the time we got there at 7:20 I was having contractions only a minute apart. Logan was born at 9:29am after a fairly easy labour. I don't mean easy as in painless...I still wanted to die, but at least it was short lived! He weighed in at 10 pounds 13 ounce. Seriously. An almost 11 pound baby! We knew that they were thinking this baby might be big, but wow. That's big! They checked him immediately for diabetes, but thankfully everything was clear.
We were told that there were no hospital rooms available as apparently the beginning of June is the fashionable time for babies to arrive. I was feeling really good so we opted to just go home. Some think we're a little nuts for making that decision, but I'm SO glad we did. We picked up lunch on our way home, were home by just after noon, and spent all my recovery time at home. If possible, I would do it again that way in a heart beat. It's so much more relaxing to be in your own home.
Logan is a wonderful baby. He sleeps wonderfully and is such a little sweetheart. Tyler has been great too. There is some definite adjusting going on, but I expect this is normal for any first born. He he soft and attentive and SO sweet towards Logan and is always interested in what's going on. I love it that we have two boys...raising brothers is going to be so much fun. We feel SO blessed.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Another day
These days are tough. I'm 38 weeks today and feeling every single one of those weeks. I'm so thankful to be home on mat leave now as it allows me to give my full attention to Tyler, but I feel like I'm even sucking at that. My pelvis is apparently all out of whack so I can't hold him and have to be really careful when I move or it goes all haywire and I can't walk.
Potty training has commenced and I thought we were in the clear...until this weekend when we backslid almost all the way back to the beginning. I do not like cleaning up pee, but especially don't like doing it while pregnant. Bending over this many times a day is tricky! Hm...maybe I'll just start doing one large pee clean a day. Just watch where you step when you come over.
What I'm really struggling with is that I'm waiting so anxiously for the pregnancy period to be over - but every now and then am reminded that this is actually the easier part...still only having one child, sleeping through the night, leaving the house, etc etc. I feel like bracing hard. Batten down the hatches, here comes more!!
Ok. I'm excited for our #2. Thrilled. Can't wait to see Tyler as a big brother and can't wait to have another baby in our home. I just...don't feel like I'm coping well with this waiting part.
All right, done complaining. Life really is good...some days are just hard.
Potty training has commenced and I thought we were in the clear...until this weekend when we backslid almost all the way back to the beginning. I do not like cleaning up pee, but especially don't like doing it while pregnant. Bending over this many times a day is tricky! Hm...maybe I'll just start doing one large pee clean a day. Just watch where you step when you come over.
What I'm really struggling with is that I'm waiting so anxiously for the pregnancy period to be over - but every now and then am reminded that this is actually the easier part...still only having one child, sleeping through the night, leaving the house, etc etc. I feel like bracing hard. Batten down the hatches, here comes more!!
Ok. I'm excited for our #2. Thrilled. Can't wait to see Tyler as a big brother and can't wait to have another baby in our home. I just...don't feel like I'm coping well with this waiting part.
All right, done complaining. Life really is good...some days are just hard.
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