Foundations

These days are such sweet days. Life at home with my boys is such a wonderful reality to find myself in. No, not every day is easy, but there are always moments of good. Logan is getting to the age where he both irritates and delights Tyler. He is on the move now and is constantly going after whatever it is that Tyler has deemed his most prized possession that day. I'm always hearing "no, Logan! That's mine!" and we are having many conversations about both sharing and also being able to have special toys that are just for Tyler or just for Logan (like a loved stuffed animal). There are also more and more moments of laughter between the two of them and Tyler is cautiously testing the water of LIKING his brother. He will play peek a boo for a few minutes or request to be seated next to Logan. Logan loves to mimic Tyler's sounds and this becomes the source if many giggles. I tell Mitch often that I so hope our boys grow up to be best friends. He cautions me not to push that on them, but to let it develop on its own. My husband is as wise as I am controlling :). Instead I pray every day for a good relationship between my boys. They don't have to be best friends, but I pray for mutual respect, understanding, individuality, and a solid closeness.

What are some values you are building into your family, either intentionally or unintentionally? Mitch and I have been talking about this in the evenings after we put the boys to bed. There are a few very important things we want to have in our family. The first is that we both model a solid relationship with Jesus. I never want my kids to question if I know or love Him. The second is modelling a solid loving marriage. This doesn't mean we hide all of our arguments, but I also want our boys to see our love, be it through the respect and gentleness we try to extend towards each other, or through silly hugs in the middle of making supper, or our togetherness with which we try to parent.

This stage of life is so much fun, and is so important. We are forming the foundation on which family is built and the value and beliefs we stand on. Praying for wisdom every single day!

2013

Hello, new year. It feels a little strange to sit in my now empty feeling living room. No tree, no advent calendar, no garland...just a few book shelves with decorations on them that I got so used to seeing that I forgot they should be put away with everything else.

The boys are alternating tantrums today, which I expected and prepared for. Having Mitch home for eleven days was such a blessing and we all miss him. Tyler is gnawing on carrot sticks and I'm drinking lemon water and neither of us are very excited about scaling back the chocolate intake. Hello, new year. We will be friendly eventually.

We had a fabulous Christmas break together. I love having kids to celebrate Christmas with. They bring such a new perspective that is so much fun. Both boys did awesome with the gatherings and celebrations and family. I love my family!

Here are some highlights of our Christmas.

Perfect?

The way our dining area is set up in our house, we have a nice bay window-type area to look into our back yard.  Because our fence is not finished yet, we can see right into the neighbor's garage when it's open.  We have sat at the dinner table and seen them finishing their yard, visiting with neighbors, building a fence, etc.  It is a young married couple with a young son, maybe 3 or 4 years old.  Yeah yeah, I'm a creeper...whatever.

This morning while Tyler and I were having lunch, they left the house and had the garage door opened for a bit.  Inside I noticed a calendar of a mostly naked women.  Cue rant.

Here's the thing.  I suppose you could argue with me and tell me it's not a big deal - a man's garage is his domain, his place to decorate how he chooses.  And as I type this, please don't hear me attacking just this one guy.  It's a much larger issue, and he just happens to be the lighting rod.  I know nothing about him...I'm sure he's a great guy.  I just hate the picture.  I hate the fact that society says it's ok to enjoy looking at other women's bodies - even while committed to a wife.  I'm struggling a lot with my body looking much different after two boys than it did before, and this gets me right revved up.  If my husband had a picture hanging up in that garage here's what it would say to me: "I wish she looked like this".  Or, "because she doesn't look like this, I'll look at it instead".  Hello, compounding insecurities.  

Women aren't perfect in this either.  I've heard even non-smutty romance novels being called porn for women because it creates an ideal in our heads about what the perfect man would do.  We get this picture in our minds and are disappointed every time our husband doesn't live up to it.  It's not a physical picture of a naked woman, but I think it can be equally hurtful or detrimental.

So what do you love about your spouse?  This is not about what you want to change - just what you appreciate.  Hang that picture in your garage.  Keep it in your wallet.  Entertain thoughts about it during the day.  Love is not about trying to attain perfection in the other person but about enjoying who they are right now.  

So the story goes...

Ha.  Do you know how many more pages views I've had since I posted last?  Waiting for a story, perhaps?  Stay tuned...it just may come.

Anyway.

Life just keeps flying by.  Logan is almost six months, Tyler will be three in just a few short months, and I feel like it's all passed in a blink or two.  My boys are growing!

My boys.  MY boys.  My BOYS.  I love saying that.  I love my two little and quickly growing sons.  Tyler for the most part completely ignores Logan, but Logan absolutely adores everything Tyler does and will shriek and squawk at him until acknowledged.  Which leads to a lot of squawking as Tyler will go out of his way to ignore.

I was given an extremely generous gift just over a year ago and with it I decided to buy a nice camera.  I am so thankful for this gift and also for the fact that I decided to spend it on something worthwhile (in my opinion).  I'm loving experimenting and capturing pictures just a little nicer of my family than what I could have done with my point and shoot.  Here are what some of our days look like

 Ha, just kidding.

...mostly.

Once in a lifetime

I helped to deliver my friend's beautiful baby boy yesterday morning.  In her bedroom with only myself and her husband there.  It was a miracle, and one of the scariest things I've ever done.  Just had to say it.  Absolutely incredible.  If you know them, I'll let them tell you the rest of the story. (And no, it was not planned.)

List

My mom recently posted a list of 50 on her blog...just a random list.  I will assume this is age related and will post my list of 26.

Mitch reading books to Tyler before bed
Botched soup
Winter boots
Intense love for my iPhone
Popcorn
Having a nice camera to take nice pictures with
Starbucks
Reconnecting with old friends
Christmas decorations
Church membership
Online shopping
Hearing stories about Jesus from my son
Memorizing (or trying to) the sermon on the mount
Laundry
Long arduous potty training
More laundry
Happy husband
Judgement verses grace
New Girl
The need for new furniture
Ticket to Ride
Routines
Teaching Tyler to love indie music
My wonderful beautiful blessings of boys
Dreams of teaching piano again
The anticipation of Costco

It's ok?

Learning lots about forgiveness from my two year old this week.

It started when he broke a vase.  He, after being told not to, threw a kids chair at a large ceramic vase I had sitting beside our tv.  It shattered as it hit the floor, and I did my best not to over react.  I asked Tyler to say sorry to me for breaking the vase because it had happened as a result of him not listening.  He dutifully said that he was sorry to me, and I responded with "it's ok".  Tyler heard this and repeated "yeah.  It's ok that I broke your vase mommy."

Hm. Not what I meant, but exactly what those words would mean to a two year old.

After this event and a few others where Tyler responded very similarly, Mitch and I decided that a better response to an apology is the obvious one - I forgive you.  Have you tried actually saying this after an apology?  Especially after somewhat glib ones?  Saying "I forgive you" means that you should mean and feel forgiveness.  I find it's also a hard phrase to hear.  Hearing someone respond with forgiveness means you've actually done something that warranted that forgiveness.  Saying "it's ok" feels like a much easier thing both to say and hear.  It's more of a brush off.

So that's been our challenge this week.  I'm trying to take it to heart in my marriage and other relationships as well.  Pondering what it means both to forgive, and also to ask for forgiveness.  Not to brush off what is hurtful but to deal with it in my heart and with others and be able to move on.

If only my Tyler knew the things he teaches me.